About a marriage

Walt Disney

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”–Walt Disney

Marathon Man and I marked our 20th wedding anniversary last week.  Twenty years.  It doesn’t quite seem like yesterday, but it doesn’t seem like two decades ago either.  Being married to him is truly a gift.  This quote from Walt Disney most likely refers to the company culture he created at Walt Disney Studios.  But it also describes our marriage to a tee.

We don’t look backwards for very long.   One of the readings in our Wedding Mass was 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.  “Love…does not take into account a wrong suffered.”  We forgive and move on.  We don’t hold grudges (which for me is pretty remarkable, because I’ve been known to be like Atlas when it comes to grudges).  For us, what’s best for The Marriage comes first.  Not what’s best for me or best for him or even what’s best for the family.  Forgiveness is always what’s best for The Marriage.

We keep moving forward.  As with anyone, there have been some hard times in our marriage;  job loss, attempted foreclosure, miscarriages, cross-country moves, struggles that come with parenting. But through it all, we keep moving forward.  What good would it do The Marriage if we let ourselves get stuck in the mire?  We have learned to hold on to each other, lean into each other, and keep moving forward, relying on God and in our Faith to carry us through.

Opening new doors and doing new things.  I mentioned that cross-country move and back, right?  There’s also that time that I left my well-paying job to help start a non-profit and stay at home more for the kids. And then went back to work full-time.  There’s new restaurants, new wineries, new favorite places.  New careers.  New lifestyles. New things big and small add to the adventure.

And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.  We dream.  We dream about vacations, three-season rooms, front porch decks with Adirondack chairs, retirement, romantic weekends, daily Mass, futures for our boys.  We make plans and set out on our way.  Sometimes we find that God has a different path for us to follow.   So we follow that one instead, curious to where it will lead.  We trust in the plans God has for us, “‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) and look forward to seeing what He has in mind for us.

We’re all in. All in for life.


One thought on “About a marriage

  1. My husband and I have been together for 23 yrs but married for 14. I agree with much of what you said, but was more interested to see that your dreams are so similar to ours! Dreams that are both big and small- a happy life and a good marriage for my son, it doesn’t cost anything but you can’t guarantee it- what price would you put on that if you could? And the other things, yes I dream of retirement, of leisurely breakfasts reading the papers, not just having a deck or porch with chairs but time to sit! I also dream of spending time learning to play piano. I realised recently that things might not go as planned. One day I was sitting with my motherin law and I was knitting and she explained how when she was younger she used to like to knit, but with arthritis and cataracts she’d had to give up many of the hobbies she’d enjoyed. Now my eyesight is ageing, I can’t read anything without glasses and that includes a musical score , so I can appreciate that by the time I retire it might not be realistic to think that I’m going to spend a couple of hours per day playing piano! So why wait, why not do it now? Apart from the fact that giving up work would mean no income now and no pension;
    if we made all our dreams come true today we’d have nothing to look forwards to! Or we’d create a different set of dreams! But I think what I’m trying to say is that I think the small, simple pleasures in life are often the best!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s