We might have reached the end.

There’s no doubt about it.  Things are bad.

I used to have a career that sustained my family financially.  Our dual income was six figures and we were practically debt free. But, six years ago, I traded that in to pursue a dream. Unfortunately, the dream didn’t pan out like I’d hoped and we have yet to regain anything close to the financial footing we used to have.

The past 16 months have been particularly difficult, but really devastating since this past April.  We’ve been in this situation at least once a month, on the verge of losing everything, but up to now we’ve managed to find a way to put a band aid on it until the financial wound opens again.

But, this time, I think we’ve run out of options.  $2,000 is all that stands between losing our electricity, house, car and ability to put food on the table or getting on the path back to financial peace.  $2,000.  I’m a fundraiser.  I should have been able to find this by now.  But I haven’t. We spent the summer holding garage sales, pawning everything we could (including our wedding bands), playing the bill shuffling game, just to keep our nose above water. Marathon Man has picked up a side gig through his school, and we’ve both looked into  full-on second jobs, but what we could get for employment would not solve the immediate problem.

We didn’t get our usual tax refund in April which was about $2,000.  For the last few years, we’ve used that to catch up on a lot of the things we got behind on or to pay for a big expense that we normally could not.  By not getting that refund this year, we essentially lost $2,000 of “income” that we haven’t been able to replace. At the time, I didn’t realize it would be this hard. Certainly, there are decisions that we made that should have been different.   If I hadn’t left my career. If I hadn’t stuck with the dream thing for as long as I did.  If we had read more about taxes and anticipated what would happen.  If…

It seems like such a ridiculously low number. $2,000. That’s the only thing that stands in the way between going without groceries and regaining a balanced budget.

And yet, there it is.

I’ve been praying a lot and up to this point, I feel like those prayers have been answered.  I do believe that God will not let me fail.  He never has before. But, as human as I am, I’m pretty darn worried. Tonight, I’m praying that St. Anthony helps us find some money.   I’d like to ask for you to pray for that too.

Thank you.

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